Poor Unfortunate Souls Song Lyrics by Pat Carroll
The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself.
Can you do that?
My dear, sweet child. That’s what I do. It’s what I live for.To help unfortunate merfolk like yourself.Poor souls with no one else to turn to.
I admit that in the past I’ve been a nastyThey weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a witchBut you’ll find that nowadaysI’ve mended all my waysRepented, seen the light, and made a switchTo thisTrue? Yes.And I fortunately know a little magicIt’s a talent that I always have possessedAnd dear lady, please don’t laughI use it on behalfOf the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)
Poor unfortunate soulsIn pain, in needThis one longing to be thinnerThat one wants to get the girlAnd do I help them?Yes, indeedThose poor unfortunate soulsSo sad, so trueThey come flocking to my cauldronCrying, “Spells, Ursula, please!”And I help them!Yes I do
Now it’s happened once or twiceSomeone couldn’t pay the priceAnd I’m afraid I had to rake ’em ‘cross the coalsYes I’ve had the odd complaintBut on the whole I’ve been a saintTo those poor unfortunate souls
Have we got a deal?
If I become human, I’ll never be with my father or sisters again.
But you’ll have your man, heh heh. Life’s full of tough choices, isn’t it? Heh heh.Oh, and there is one more thing.We haven’t discussed the subject of payment.
But I don’t have-
I’m not asking much, just a token really, a trifle!What I want from you is – your voice.
But without my voice, how can I-
You’ll have your looks, your pretty face.And don’t underestimate the importance of body language, ha!
The men up there don’t like a lot of blabberThey think a girl who gossips is a bore!Yet on land it’s much prefered for ladies not to say a wordAnd after all dear, what is idle babble for?Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversationTrue gentlemen avoid it when they canBut they dote and swoon and fawnOn a lady who’s withdrawnIt’s she who holds her tongue who get’s a man
Come on you poor unfortunate soulGo ahead!Make your choice!I’m a very busy woman and I haven’t got all dayIt won’t cost muchJust your voice!You poor unfortunate soulIt’s sad but trueIf you want to cross the bridge, my sweetYou’ve got the pay the tollTake a gulp and take a breathAnd go ahead and sign the scrollFlotsam, Jetsam, now I’ve got her, boysThe boss is on a rollThis poor unfortunate soul
Beluga sevrugaCome winds of the Caspian SeaLarengix glaucitisEt max laryngitisLa voce to me
Now, sing!
Aah…
Keep singing!