Colt 45 Song Lyrics by Afroman
Wait a minute man, ey check this out man.
There wuz this blind man right.
He wuz feelin hiz way down tha street with this stick right.
He walked pass this fish market you no wut i’m sayin.
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said
Whoa! Good morning ladies.
You like that sh*t man?
I got a gang of that sh*t man.
I’ll tell you what
My man on the guitar
Dude on the drums
Everyody gather ’round the mic
I’ll tell ya all these muthaf**ken jokes
First I’mma start it off like this
Help me sing it homeboy!
C’mon!
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that’s all we need
We can go to the park after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burns
we can take our turn
singin’ them dirty rap songs
stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
and sell tapes from here to hong kong
so roll, roll, roll my joint
pick out the seeds and stems,
feelin’ high as hell
flyin’ through palm dale
skatin’ on dayton rims
so roll, roll, the ’83
cadillac coupe de ville
if my tapes and cd’s just don’t sell
i bet my cabby will
well it was just sun down
in a small white town
they call it east side palm dale
when the afroman walked through the white land
houses went up for sale..(hell)
well i was standin’ on the corner sellin’ rap CD’s
when i met a lil’ girl named Jan (jan)
i let her ride in my caddy
’cause i didn’t know her daddy
was the leader of the ku-klux-klan
we f**ked on the bed
f**ked on the floor
f**ked so long
i grew a f**kin’ afro
then i f**ked to the left
f**ked to the right
she sucked my dick
til the sh*t turned white
i thought to myself
sheeba, sheeba!
got my ass lookin’ like a zebra
i put on my clothes
and i was on my way
till her daddy pulled up in a chevorlet
so i ran, jumped out the back window
but her daddy he was waitin’ with a 2 by 4
oh he beat me to the left
he beat me to the right
the mothaf**ka whooped my as all night
but i ain’t mad
at her prejudice dad
that’s the best damn pussy i eva had
gotta bag of weed
and a bottle of wine
i’m gonna f**k that b**ch
just one more time
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that’s all we need
We can go to the park after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burns
we can take our turn
singin’ them dirty rap songs
stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
and sell tapes from here to hong kong
so said roll, roll, roll my joint
pick out the seeds and stems
feelin’ high as hell
flyin’ through palm dale
skatin’ on dayton rims
so roll, roll, roll the ’83
cadillac coupe de ville
if my tapes and cd’s just don’t sell
i bet my cabby will
i met this lady in Hollywood
she had green hair but damn she look good
i took her to my house ’cause she was fine
but she whooped out a dick that was bigger than mine
i met this lady from Japan
never made love with an african
i f**ked her once, i f**ked her twice
i ate that pussy like shrimp-fried rice
don’t be amazed at the stories i tell you
i met a woman in the heart of Australia
had a big butt and big titties too
so i hopped in her ass like a kangaroo
see i met this woman from Hawaii
stuck it in her ass and she said “iiiiiiiiieeeeee”
lips was breakfast
pussy was lunch
then her titties busted open with hawaiian punch
met Kernal Sanders wife
in the state of Kentucky
she said i’ll fry some chicken
if you’d just f**k me
i came in her mouth it was a crisis
i gave her my secret blend
of herbs and spices
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that’s all we need
We can go to the park after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burns
we can take our turn
singin’ them dirty rap songs
stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
and sell tapes from here to hong kong
i met dolly parton in Tennesee
her titties were filled with hennesee
that country music really drove me crazy
but i rode that ass and said yes miss daizy
then i met this lady from Oklahoma
put that pussy in a coma
met this lady in Michigan
I can’t wait til i f**k that b**ch again
met a real black girl down in South Carolina
f**ked her til she turned to a white albina
i f**ked this hooker in Iowa
I f**ked her on credit.. so i owe her
f**ked this girl down in Georgia
came in her mouth man i thought i told ya
met this beautiful sexy hoe
she just ran cross the border of Mexico
this fine young thing said her name’s Maria
I wrapped her up just like a hot tortilla
i wanna get married but i can’t afford it
i know i’m gonna cry when she get deported
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that’s all we need
We can go to the park after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burns
we can take our turn
singin’ them dirty rap songs
stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
and sell tapes from here to hong kong
have you eva went ova a girl
starts to f**k but the pussy just ain’t no good *say what*
and ya gettin’ upset
’cause you can’t get her wet
plus you in the wrong neighborhood
so you try to play it off
and eat the pussy
but it take her so long to cum
then a dude walk in that’s her big boyfriend
and he ask you where you from
so you wipe your mouth
and you try to explain
you start talking real fast
but he already mad
’cause you f**kin’ his woman
so he start beatin’ on yo ass
so your clothes all muddy
your nose all bloody
your dick was hard but now it’s soft *what*
you thought you had a girl to rock ya world
but you still have to go jack off
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that’s all we need
We can go to the park………..