Crazy Rap Song Lyrics by Afroman
Wait a minute, manAyy, check this out, man (let him tell it)It was this blind man right (man, check it, ayy), it was this blind man right (this fool right here)He was feelin’ his way down the street with his stick right, ayy (yeah)He walked past this fish market, you know what I’m sayin’? (Fish market?)He stopped he took a deep breath, he saidWhoa, good morning ladies, hahahaYou like that shit, man? (That was pretty good, that was pretty good)Ayy man, I got a gang of that shit, manI’ll tell you whatMy man on the guitarAyy, fool on the drumsAyy, everybody just crowd around the micI’ll tell you all these motherfuckin’ jokes I got (clap ya hands, man)But first I’ma start off like that, ayy, help me sing it, homeboyCome on
Said Colt 45 and two Zig-Zags, baby, that’s all we needWe can go to the park, after darkSmoke that tumbleweedAs the marijuana burn, we can take our turnSingin’ them dirty rap songsStop and hit the bong like Cheech and ChongAnd sell tapes from here to Hong KongSo roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stemsFeelin’ high as hell flyin’ through PalmdaleSkatin’ on Dayton rimsSo roll, roll, the ’83 Cadillac Coupe DevilleIf my tapes and my CDs just don’t sell, I bet my Caddy will
Well, it was just sundown in small white townThey call it East Side Palmdale (well)When the Afroman walked through the white landHouses went up for sale (hell)Well, I was standing on the corner sellin’ rap CDsWhen I met a little girl named JanI let her ride in my Caddy‘Cause I didn’t know her daddy was the leader of the Ku Klux Klan (hahaha)We fucked on the bedFucked on the floorFucked so long I grew a fuckin’ afroThen I fucked to the left (left)Fucked to the right (right)She sucked my dick ’til the shit turned whiteI thought to myself, “Sheeba-sheeba”Got my ass lookin’ like a zebraI put on my clothes and I was on my wayUntil her daddy pulled up in a ChevroletSo I ran, I jumped out the back windowBut her daddy, he was waitin’ with a two-by-fourOh, he beat me to the leftHe beat me to the rightThe motherfucker whooped my ass all nightBut I ain’t mad at her prejudiced dadThat’s the best damn pussy I ever hadGot a bag of weed and a bottle of wine (woo)I’m gonna fuck that bitch just one more time
Colt 45 and two Zig-Zags, baby, that’s all we need (come on)We can go to the park, after darkSmoke that tumbleweed (uh)And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turnSingin’ them dirty rap songsStop and hit the bong like Cheech and ChongAnd sell tapes from here to Hong KongSo roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stemsFeelin’ high as hell flyin’ through PalmdaleSkatin’ on Dayton rims (come on)So roll, roll, the ’83 Cadillac Coupe DevilleIf my tapes and my CDs just don’t sell, I bet my Caddy will (uh)
I met this lady in HollywoodShe had green hair, but damn she looked goodI took her to my house ’cause she was fineBut she whooped out a dick that was bigger than mineI met this lady from JapanNever made love with an AfricanI fucked her once, I fucked her twiceI ate that pussy like shrimp-fried riceDon’t be amazed at the stories I tell ya (tell ya)I met a woman in the heart of AustraliaHad a big butt and big titties tooSo I hopped in her ass like a KangarooSee I met this woman from HawaiiStuck it in her ass and she said “aii”Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunchThen her titties busted open with Hawaiian PunchMet Colonel Sanders wife in the state of KentuckyShe said I’d fry some chicken if you’d just fuck meI came in her mouth, it was a crisisI gave her my secret blend of herbs’ n’ spices
Colt 45 and two Zig-Zags, baby, that’s all we need (come on)We can go to the park, after darkSmoke that tumbleweed (uh)And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turnSingin’ them dirty rap songsStop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong(Ayy, wait a minute, man, check this out, man, ayy)And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
I met Dolly Parton in TennesseeHer titties were filled with HennessyThat country music really drove me crazyBut I rode that ass and said, “Yes, Miss Daisy”Met this lady in OklahomaPut that pussy in a comaMet this lady in MichiganI can’t wait ’til I fuck that bitch againMet a real black girl down in South CarolinaFucked her until she turned to a white albinoFucked this hooker in IowaI fucked her on credit, so I owe herFucked this girl down in GeorgiaCame in her mouth, man I thought I told yaMet this beautiful sexy hoShe just ran across the border of MexicoFine young thing, said her name’s MariaI wrapped her up just like a hot tortillaI wanna get married but I can’t afford itI know I’ma cry when she get deported
Colt 45 and two Zig-Zags, baby, that’s all we need (come on)We can go to the park, after darkSmoke that tumbleweed (uh)And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turnSingin’ them dirty rap songsStop and hit the bong like Cheech and ChongAnd sell tapes from here to Hong KongSo roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stemsFeelin’ high as hell flyin’ through PalmdaleSkatin’ on Dayton rims (come on)So roll, roll, the ’83 Cadillac Coupe DevilleIf my tapes and my CDs just don’t sell, I bet my Caddy will